Please, lover

I’m tired of searching for someone in every encounter, in every opportunity. I’m tired of holding a longing. I have surrender to solitude and I’ve been her submissive servant. Hearing patiently its deepest hidden desires and craves for connection. I have made it songs, poems and stepping stones. But I can’t hold the grief of it anymore. I don’t want to cling to the illusion. I’m not in search, I’m not in lack, I never chase, I only attract. I don’t need to carry a sense of lack within me. I don’t want to be in constant hunt. I know I can fly with my own wings. I know I swim in the deepest oceans alone in the dark. I know my soul roars and it echoes in the universe. I can feel this. So why I keep waiting for the magical day to come when I’ll be meeting who’s finally going to appreciate all the efforts of my discipline. My inner contemplation falls short for such immensity. The right time feels unreachable, just like perfection. Is it me not being enough? How can the mountain not be enough? Even the dunes in their ever dryness flow with the wind not missing the water. What is my soul trying to prove to this body? How can the body ever be like the soul? Who will match the love songs still yet to come? The pain of a lightning burns deep in my chest when I linger to the thought of someone stroking my hair, admiring every bit, soaking in every inch of my tenderness and vulnerability. Can someone ever truly see me? How can nature flourish without a witness?

If my love belongs to the divine only, please, lover, take me to that place on earth where I can rest in peace and drop this sufficiency. Where I can give my days to the simplest of the stillness and not run in circles. You’ll hear my voice. I’ve opened the road, I’ve cleaned the way to be cascade. Let me know if it’s enough.